The Call Girls Guide to London

The day-to-day life of a London escort/call girl.

Thursday, January 19, 2006


Right just quickly I still can't figure out how to link things but here are some places worth checking out. This is a great site where you can check out loads of blogs ! (this girl is seriously sassy and entertaining) (Think Bizarre Magazine employing Sex Agony Aunt)
I'll keep adding to these but I'm late for a very important date, untill next time Aurevoir (Fantastic site for booking the date of your dreams, also has a fab forum for escorts and clients to enjoy) (This is a new forum for independents and agency gals to talk in a pribate forum as well as a public one, so come on girls n guys and check it out)

Culinary Salvation Indeed

As any hip young urbanite knows finding time to eat let alone cook can be troublesome.
Well gals and guys I may just have found our salvation (well mine at least!).

I had a 'buisness meeting' in Central London today a double date at my favourite hotel, with my favourite girl from the agency.
She's probably reading this blog right now so ;
"Hello Amazonian one, thanks for the recommendation, and by the way you should always wear red,it looked fantastic also get yourself a blog !"

Anyway to cut to the chase (I'm off to theatre land in ten minutes) - Ama told me about the best thing ever.
A company called Deliverance they do amazing stuff, Indian,Thai,Chinese,European (ie Fish n Chips)Italian,Japanese !
Of course I'm still reminding myself of my New Years resolution so mine was a salad but what a salad !

So I shall never have to cook, or wash up ever again and healthy, fresh food is but a click or call away !
Apparantly their Sushi is grand too. (for anyone living in London with an aversion to mess and the kitchen)

Monday, January 16, 2006

The Call Girls Guide to London: All The Small Things

The Call Girls Guide to London: All The Small Things

Friday, January 13, 2006

One Man Show

Yesterday my agency phoned me with a booking (short notice) I found myself turning up 20 minutes late.
The client was pretty okay about it and was rather less interested in conversation than I would have liked.
In fact as soon as I walked through the door he handed me my fee in a plain envelope and started pawing at me.
As soon as he kissed me on his return from the bathroom I realized why - he tasted of cocaine.
My agency has a policy if a client seems drunk, or otherwise high we are to leave and call to report immediately.
I felt the situation was safe, and I'd made myself comfortable on the reclining leather massage chair (note to self - be v v good girl and put on x-mas list)
I smiled and tut tuted and he took this as a sign to relax and started chopping lines up on the glass table rather than sneaking off.
The funny thing about coke is that it can make guys super horny and the next second just transform them into the resurrection of Oscar Wilde (if one is lucky).
I was entertained for the next 2 hours with a one-man, autobiographical, stand up show. I can't remember the last time I laughed so much and I wondered if he was this amusing when not trolleyed.
No physical contact apart from the kiss, and I left with a huge tip.

Had a slight dissagreement with new boyfriend, although he did call back five minutes later to apologies.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Posted by Picasa

Eat-iquette and Cocktails

You know you've had a great weekend when you're still at it on Tuesday evening.

Met my Reg at his Hotel and dropped off my overnight bag, we then headed to Charlotte Street for dinner.
Whenever I'm with a client I always try to avoid dinner dates, Drinks I have no problem with. But when it comes to food I admit the snob in me not so much rears her ugly head as possesses my whole being from the moment the wine list is offered to the second coffee has been finished.
I realize it might sound somewhat silly coming from a girl who has no problem with the grittier bits of fellatio and strap-ons.
But in a professional capacity I prefer to be eaten rather than eat (well don't we all).
The Reg no matter how sweet has possibly the worst table manners I have ever seen - and I've been to countries where cutlery doesn't exist.
Okay elbows on the table I can overlook, talking to me about Mark Rothko whilst displaying a mouthful of half masticated food- not so great.
But licking Potato Millefeuille from his knife really did take the biscuit.
So I did what any reasonable (if a teensy bit anal) person would do ....I got drunk.
Not rip roaringly so but it made the evening much more pleasurable.
And by the fourth glass of wine I hardly noticed the serviette sticking out of his collar.
The rest of the night was spent back at the hotel, and although really nothing to blog about was passable.

After leaving the hotel in one of Londons best black cabs ever - the driver was an absolute sweetie.
I went home and readied myself for some serious pleasure - my latest boyfriend is perhaps the most attentive lover I have come across (or indeed been come across by).
I'd like to report that we spent a culture filled day taking in Degas at the Tate.
But the truth of the matter is we didn't leave my apartment until Monday evening when we said Goodbye.


Quaffed assortment of cocktails in bar with best girlfriend and regaled each other with details of latest exploits.
Fell into bed (alone) at 1 am.

Thursday, January 05, 2006

Agent Orange

Anyone feeling like they are in need of some retail therapy this weekend DON'T !
Much better to pull a sicky and go during the week than brave what's left of the sale hungry crowds.
I went shopping in Covent Garden and Soho today , and girls Agent Provocateurs new lines are truly drool worthy-which is of course the idea.
I am seeing a regular over the weekend.
I try to reserve the weekends for myself but this chap is sweet and so I really don't mind.
The last time he visited London I had just been to have my tan airbrushed on. My regular girl was away getting married (how inconsiderate ;)) and the new one really made a boo boo.
Instead of coming out an even golden colour as I'm used to, the results developed into a more Jodie Marsh shade of Tangerine.
Actually it was more reminiscent of Jodie Marsh, Jordan and Mrs Beckham having their annual "look I'm oranger than you contest" complete with streaks.
No matter how many layers of skin I tried to shed via exfoliating the appointment with my reg had to be cancelled.
The poor girl who applied the tan was new and nervous so I decided to save my complaints for a more worthy cause.
This turned out to be great thing as absence really does make the lust grow stronger, instead of the normal 3 hours, he has booked me for a full 12 hours.
So a hearty thanks must of course go to the Karma fairy,and more importantly the salons new beautician.

Off to have tan tomorrow - note to self avoid said girl like plague.

Top Tip for anyone in the Covent Garden, or indeed Bond Street area Carluccios for their not quite so sinfull winter warmer 'Hot Chocolate'.
Yes it's still calorific but it is morally less reprehensible than Starbucks (any excuse).

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

And So It Begins......

.....The New Year - Happy 2006 to you and yours, and of course this blog.
Arriving back at Paddington station after the Christmas Break I tried to summarise 2005's hi and low points, the results were disappointing not for lack of fun and frollicks.
I'm mid 20's so even though Alzheimers could be setting in early, the more likely truth of the matter is that I have a mind like a sieve.
I decided to try and journal 2006 as honestly and frankly as possible !
This is really just a space to keep all my thoughts and record my city adventures, feel free to join me !

Resolutions for 2006 :

  • Go to the gym at least 4 times a week (remind self when feeling like lazy lump that one does take ones clothes off for a living)
  • Keep diary of some sort (check)
  • Consider starting own agency (for all the right reasons yakety schmakety)
  • Read a book a fortnight (Do not limit self to classics and bestsellers)
  • Find the perfect new apartment