The Call Girls Guide to London

The day-to-day life of a London escort/call girl.

Friday, January 13, 2006

One Man Show

Yesterday my agency phoned me with a booking (short notice) I found myself turning up 20 minutes late.
The client was pretty okay about it and was rather less interested in conversation than I would have liked.
In fact as soon as I walked through the door he handed me my fee in a plain envelope and started pawing at me.
As soon as he kissed me on his return from the bathroom I realized why - he tasted of cocaine.
My agency has a policy if a client seems drunk, or otherwise high we are to leave and call to report immediately.
I felt the situation was safe, and I'd made myself comfortable on the reclining leather massage chair (note to self - be v v good girl and put on x-mas list)
I smiled and tut tuted and he took this as a sign to relax and started chopping lines up on the glass table rather than sneaking off.
The funny thing about coke is that it can make guys super horny and the next second just transform them into the resurrection of Oscar Wilde (if one is lucky).
I was entertained for the next 2 hours with a one-man, autobiographical, stand up show. I can't remember the last time I laughed so much and I wondered if he was this amusing when not trolleyed.
No physical contact apart from the kiss, and I left with a huge tip.

Had a slight dissagreement with new boyfriend, although he did call back five minutes later to apologies.


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